A Path of Conscious Love

May 12, 2011

I am currently involved in an Engaging Scripture group in my local parish. Our “Sharing Our Stories” question for next week is in two parts:

1. Please share one thing about you that has changed as a result of your intention to lead a Christian life.
2. Can you tell how something or someone has helped you in this?

I want to share my answers with you.

The biggest “one thing” that has changed as a result of my “intention” to live a Christian life is the direction of that intention.

Before 2003, the direction of my intention to live as a Christian was future oriented, goal driven. I was going to heaven someday. I was waiting for Jesus’ full and final return and his future kingdom. I was looking forward to ruling and reigning with Christ in that future kingdom (James and John don’t have anything on me!). I was preparing myself as a Bride prepares herself for her future wedding day.

In 2003, my path began to disappear, and in 2003, my one story failed. I totally lost the path. Completely. It was no more. I hadn’t gotten off the path. It simply disappeared, and I was left standing on no path. So, I began “walking” around in what felt like circles, looking for a path, any path. Perhaps it was more like a labyrinth than a circle, which has no beginning and no end, because I kept catching glimpses of a path—over there—but I couldn’t quite get there. I couldn’t quite reach that path.

Then I went on Sabbatical in December 2010. For two weeks, I drove, by myself. As I drove, I listened to Michael Dowd’s conversations on Evolutionary Christianity. And when I was still, I read several books by Cynthia Bourgeault, including The Wisdom Jesus and The Meaning of Mary Magdalene.

And In January of this year, I reset my intention to follow Jesus. This time, I would follow him on a current path, a path Cynthia calls The Path of Metanoia. Leslie Hershberger calls it “A Path of Conscious Love”.

My vision is no longer future oriented to Someday as His Bride in heaven, but vision is now focused on today, being transformed by the present moment into Love and Compassion. The Kindom is here, now, today, in this beautiful world right here, present IN me. Christ is all around me, fully present in all that has been, is, and every shall be.

This isn’t particularly new information; it’s simply a redirecting of my intention. My perspective has shifted. It is shifting, and it will continue to shift. I see from where I stand—and I’m afraid anymore to move.

I am so grateful to Cynthia Bourgeault and Michael Dowd, and currently Leslie Hershberger and my Integral Christianity classmates on-line. I am not walking this path blind with no guides. And I’m not walking this path alone. I am walking in community with others, and our ranks are swelling.