If a woman does not keep pace with her companions,
perhaps it is because she hears a different drummer.
Let her step to the music which she hears, however measured or far away.

Thoreau (with a Conner twist)

All posts (including images and poetry) on this website are copyrighted by Sheila Conner.
Please do not use without permission.
Thank you.






Monday, July 26, 2010

The Wisdom and Care of SoulCollage®


SoulCollage® is such a simple tool...yet profound prayer. I've been "feeling" some things over the last couple of months, and those feelings have been pretty well validated over the last few days. And the "boogie bears" of my mind are lurking near. My tendency in this particular situation is to "fear". But when I drew this card as my "neter" of the day, something wonderful happened.

Synchronicity is one of Love's favorite ways to speak into my life, and it always amazes me when it happens.

Andy preached a simple sermon yesterday on the prayer that Jesus taught us. He brought that simple prayer into current day language, then challenged us to do the same. Well, I'm too grown up for that...

But this morning, when I drew this card, that's exactly what happened. I made this card after "bullying" someone about a year ago. It gave me hope that my "Father" still loved me. This morning? It's a whole different message.

As I was pondering my thoughts and feeling my fears, I heard this card speak a whole different message to me:

"Sheila, I am the one who invites you to just walk away. Turn your back on the bullies in your mind that have you hiding in this dark place like a little lost puppy. Leave the pretend demons and dragons of your fears behind, put your hand in mine and just walk away. Leave them be, and come walk with me."


I was reminded of something particular regarding forgiveness that Andy talked about yesterday, so I talked about it with Love, then in my heart, I put my small fearful hand in Love's hand, and walked away from the demons in my mind. I am unable to do anything about the feelings or the fears, or whatever the situation is that stir those feelings and fears, but I can mentally put my hand in Someone's hand and walk away. At least for today.

I've been reading daily from Nan Merrill's Psalms for Praying, an Invitation to Wholeness for a while now. And today after listening to the Wisdom of this card speak to me, I ended my prayer time with Psalm 16...

Remain before me
O Living Presence,
for in You am I safe.
You are my Beloved; in You
I can do all things...
Love is my chosen food, my cup,
holding me in its power.
Where I have come from,
Where'ser I shall go,
Love is my birthright,
my true estate.
I bless the Counselor who guides
my way;
in the night also does my heart
instruct me.
I walk beside the Spirit of Truth;
I celebrate the Light.
Thus my hear is glad,
and my soul
rejoices;
I shall nto be afraid,
nor fall into the pit of despair;
In Love's presence there is fullness
of Joy.
You are my Beloved; in You
will I live.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Come SoulCollage® With Me - Dancing With The Opposites



I made this card last Thursday, when I gave my first SoulCollage® class. And I love it! Goes to show, sometimes "simple" is best!

I was raised in a black and white world of nice, tidy, little boxes. And everything fit into those nice little boxes: good/bad, black/white, up/down, big/little, right/wrong, us/them, etc. But something happened in 2004 when I drew a black and white mandala of little boxes. Since then, I've begun to dance the dance of the opposites. And I've discovered that a non-black/white world doesn't just lead to wish-washy shades of gray. It makes for COLOR! DIVERSITY! DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW! There's a million choices between black and white. There's a billion points of view between right and wrong. And it's a wonderful, wonderful world of color.

I can be a child of both day and night. I can dance between right and wrong and not really KNOW it all. I can be o so much more flexible, and yes, tolerant of others.

When this card spoke to me it said:
"I am the one who dances with the opposites! Come and dance with me. Sprinkle a little color wherevery you go. You no longer have to live on the edge and be fearful of falling off that little tight rope! Everything in between is an adventure in living! Come experience LIFE in technicolor!"

Try it. You'll like it. :)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Life's Intention

I am forever grateful to a group of women I often refer to as "The Lilies". Some of us have been together so long that I tend to take the "sisterhood" for granted--you know, "familarity breeds contempt". Except it's not "contempt", it's just "for granted", then one of them ignites that fire inside my heart, and I'm re-charged, and off and running again.

Yesterday one of them asked us three questions:

"What do you want to be like when you grow up?"

"How do you get there?"

"When do you begin?"

Sometime or another, all of us need to sit with those three questions and ponder them--and maybe even come up with some kind of answer--if not an answer, at least a general direction to head in. So, I sat and pondered. Then I wrote. But being a firm believer in "imaging", I made a SoulCollage® card to make my intention "concrete".

What do I want to be like when I grow up? Conscience, awake, observant, still growing, tender, grace-filled, open-hearted, compassionate, merciful...What do I want to be like? I still want to be like my teacher, Jesus--except in "Sheila" form.

How do I get there? Just keep walking--onwart, upward, hope-FULL, one day at a time, one moment at a time.

When do I begin? Today, now, this very moment, sitting here at my computer, thinking about the question, and opening my heart and mind to the answer I wrote, right now, fully setting my intention toward it, this very moment, planting this seed deep in my heart.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Coming Home to the Self - from Touchstone (Thanks Tina)



I got this little dittie on email today from a friend. I love it. It's what I truly believe, and it's one reason I do SoulCollage®. SoulCollage® helps me live from the inside out. Read on...

"We are a culture of misfits - not because there is anything wrong with us as a people but because we are accustomed to becoming things we aren't. So we don't fit into our own souls. Our schools put out students to fit the economy, for instance, rather than the heart. Good thinkers go into accounting rather than philosophy because accounting pays more. Fine writers go into law because law is more prestigious. Young people with artistic talent go into computer science because computer programming or hotel management or engineering are full of "opportunities"--real "money" - that a water-colorist lacks.

"The problem is that when we do not do what we are clearly made to do we are doomed. We spend the rest of our lives looking for the missing piece of ourselves that we lost before we knew we had it.

"Then we wonder why the work we do bores us, no matter how many cars we have, no matter how beautiful the vacation house may be. We can't figure out why we still feel restless about life. We wonder what it is that isn't right: the schedule, the children, the marriage, the place.

"We lose a taste for life.

"Then, it is time go give ourselves the space and means to become again. We need to rearrange the furniture of life to make way for the essence of life: We need to set up an easel and paint. We need to start the woodworking we always wanted to do. We need to take the courses we always wish we had. We need to join the book clubs that talk about the things we are interested in discussing. We need to begin to knit and cook and write and garden. We need to do those unfinished, unstarted, undeveloped things in us that ring the bell of bliss and authenticity. Then life will become life again and all the rust of it will wear away. When we become what we know ourselves to be, we will come home to ourselves.
"The rabbis put it this way: "Rabbi," the disciple asked, "what shall I do to be saved?" And the Rabbi said, "How should I know? Abraham practiced hospitality and was saved. Elias loved to pray and was saved. David ruled a kingdom and God was with him. Follow the deepest inclination of your heart and you, too, will be saved."When we live from the inside out rather than from the outside in, everything in life begins to fit."

Sunday, July 18, 2010

SoulCollage® Card #3, There IS a pony in there!!!

This started out being an "archeology" card--an archetype for one who digs in the earth to find treasure, BUT, I could just hear this little one saying, "There REALLY is a pony in here!" I'm sure most of you have heard about the little girl who was shown two rooms, one with a nice gift-wrapped box in it, and the other full of shit! And she chose the room full of it--convinced that under all that stuff was a pony! :) So, I hear her say:

"I am the one who says, 'Keep digging! Don't give up! Look for the PONY!"

I'm a firm believer that everything that comes our way has "pony potential"--there's a vein of gold running through every situation. One of my very favorite passages of Scripture is Job 28. It tells me all about how hard it is to find wisdom and "treasure". It's not easy to keep believing and keep hoping, especially in some of our roughest times. But if we let go and trust the Source of all good gifts, if we keep digging, we'll find the gift.

SoulCollage® Card #2


When I was in Los Gatos for our SoulCollage® facilitator training, the dolphin came to me in a guided meditation. In SoulCollage®, one of the suits is Companions, our animal guides, one for each chakra. The 5th chakra is our voice. Couldn't figure out how the dolphin could be my 5th chakra guide, that is until I did a little research. These animals are BOTH mammals and amphibians. The swim in the ocean, then come up occasionally for air. And they are great communicators. There is a lot of research being done on dolphin communication. All very interesting. Today I hear them say:

"We are the ones who love to go deep and share the depths with others. Sometimes the language gets lost as we try to share, but that's ok--we still love to share. We also communicate joy and compassion. Follow us to the deep and trust your voice--speak your truth with joy and compassion."

A Nice Lazy Sunday


It's been a very busy week. We have hosted nearly 40 kids this week in morning and afternoon art classes at The Center--our annual Summer Art Odyssey. I realize each year how much older I'm getting. I'm totally bushed by the end of the week, yet I really enjoy sharing creativity with the kids and learning new things from each new teacher.


Then over the weekend we had company--my brother, his wife, and their grandson came down to wish my mother a Happy 81st Birthday! We went out for dinner Friday evening, then off to Galveston, a ferry ride, and lunch, then back to town for our weekly grocery shopping.


I was in bed by 8:30 last night, and slept in until almost 7 (that's LATE for me) this morning. And, I skipped church. Sometimes you just have to "be".


And I've spent the better part of the afternoon creating 3 new SoulCollage® cards. I wanted to create some art, but I needed something that didn't require much juice--I'm running low! So, here's one I came up with:

A community card, Seena Frost, the Founder of SoulCollage®. If she were sitting here today, I think she would tell me:
"I am the one who taught you this beautiful gift of SoulCollage®. And if you're tired, this is the place to come. Look for images. Cut them out. And trust the process. And rest while you're working. Relax. No trouble. No bother. Yet, still creative."


Saturday, July 10, 2010

6:45 a.m., Surfside Beach...



So, what am I doing here, by myself? Something’s amiss—out of kilter, and needs restoring.

What draws me to this Ocean?

Perhaps it’s the rhythm of the waves? It’s as if my own internal rhythms need to be recalibrated. My internal clock, the consistent tick, tick, tick, tick—it seems to have gotten out of whack. It’s lost its balanced rhythm.

I love the sound of the Ocean, the rhythmic ticking of a clock, and this week, the Psalms…my soul waits in silence.

“You have established yourself in secret places,
seeking out receptive hearts,
ready to enter and make your
dwelling place within.”

The secret places…
the rhythm of the waves,
the quiet ticking of a clock,
the beating of a heart,
the in and out of the breath,
the push and pull of the tide,
the rising and setting of the sun,
the waxing and waning of the moon…

the Final Cause.

Perhaps that’s what I need from this moment, from this place, from the Psalms—the gentle ever-present reminder of the Final Cause.

The gulls and the pelicans seem to know it,
time knows it,
the sun, moon, and stars know it,
the only ones who seem to wonder, doubt, and ask the questions
are us humans.

So, who/what is most evolved?

Then I notice.

Even the Ocean spends its energy beating against its boundaries, testing its limits. Even the Ocean seems to have this incessant longing for more.

Perhaps that’s my purpose.
Perhaps that’s why I’m here.
Perhaps that’s what this journey of the soul, my Ocean, is all about—

Expand
Open
Wings beating the wind
Waves lapping at the boundaries and eating up the edges

Longing for the More.
Always on the lookout for the Final Cause.

Here is my heart Beloved.
Enter and make your dwelling place within.