Life's Intention

I am forever grateful to a group of women I often refer to as "The Lilies". Some of us have been together so long that I tend to take the "sisterhood" for granted--you know, "familarity breeds contempt". Except it's not "contempt", it's just "for granted", then one of them ignites that fire inside my heart, and I'm re-charged, and off and running again.

Yesterday one of them asked us three questions:

"What do you want to be like when you grow up?"

"How do you get there?"

"When do you begin?"

Sometime or another, all of us need to sit with those three questions and ponder them--and maybe even come up with some kind of answer--if not an answer, at least a general direction to head in. So, I sat and pondered. Then I wrote. But being a firm believer in "imaging", I made a SoulCollage® card to make my intention "concrete".

What do I want to be like when I grow up? Conscience, awake, observant, still growing, tender, grace-filled, open-hearted, compassionate, merciful...What do I want to be like? I still want to be like my teacher, Jesus--except in "Sheila" form.

How do I get there? Just keep walking--onwart, upward, hope-FULL, one day at a time, one moment at a time.

When do I begin? Today, now, this very moment, sitting here at my computer, thinking about the question, and opening my heart and mind to the answer I wrote, right now, fully setting my intention toward it, this very moment, planting this seed deep in my heart.

Coming Home to the Self - from Touchstone (Thanks Tina)

I got this little dittie on email today from a friend. I love it. It's what I truly believe, and it's one reason I do SoulCollage®. SoulCollage® helps me live from the inside out. Read on...

"We are a culture of misfits - not because there is anything wrong with us as a people but because we are accustomed to becoming things we aren't. So we don't fit into our own souls. Our schools put out students to fit the economy, for instance, rather than the heart. Good thinkers go into accounting rather than philosophy because accounting pays more. Fine writers go into law because law is more prestigious. Young people with artistic talent go into computer science because computer programming or hotel management or engineering are full of "opportunities"--real "money" - that a water-colorist lacks.

"The problem is that when we do not do what we are clearly made to do we are doomed. We spend the rest of our lives looking for the missing piece of ourselves that we lost before we knew we had it.

"Then we wonder why the work we do bores us, no matter how many cars we have, no matter how beautiful the vacation house may be. We can't figure out why we still feel restless about life. We wonder what it is that isn't right: the schedule, the children, the marriage, the place.

"We lose a taste for life.

"Then, it is time go give ourselves the space and means to become again. We need to rearrange the furniture of life to make way for the essence of life: We need to set up an easel and paint. We need to start the woodworking we always wanted to do. We need to take the courses we always wish we had. We need to join the book clubs that talk about the things we are interested in discussing. We need to begin to knit and cook and write and garden. We need to do those unfinished, unstarted, undeveloped things in us that ring the bell of bliss and authenticity. Then life will become life again and all the rust of it will wear away. When we become what we know ourselves to be, we will come home to ourselves.
"The rabbis put it this way: "Rabbi," the disciple asked, "what shall I do to be saved?" And the Rabbi said, "How should I know? Abraham practiced hospitality and was saved. Elias loved to pray and was saved. David ruled a kingdom and God was with him. Follow the deepest inclination of your heart and you, too, will be saved."When we live from the inside out rather than from the outside in, everything in life begins to fit."

SoulCollage® Card #3, There IS a pony in there!!!

This started out being an "archeology" card--an archetype for one who digs in the earth to find treasure, BUT, I could just hear this little one saying, "There REALLY is a pony in here!" I'm sure most of you have heard about the little girl who was shown two rooms, one with a nice gift-wrapped box in it, and the other full of shit! And she chose the room full of it--convinced that under all that stuff was a pony! :) So, I hear her say:

"I am the one who says, 'Keep digging! Don't give up! Look for the PONY!"

I'm a firm believer that everything that comes our way has "pony potential"--there's a vein of gold running through every situation. One of my very favorite passages of Scripture is Job 28. It tells me all about how hard it is to find wisdom and "treasure". It's not easy to keep believing and keep hoping, especially in some of our roughest times. But if we let go and trust the Source of all good gifts, if we keep digging, we'll find the gift.

SoulCollage® Card #2

When I was in Los Gatos for our SoulCollage® facilitator training, the dolphin came to me in a guided meditation. In SoulCollage®, one of the suits is Companions, our animal guides, one for each chakra. The 5th chakra is our voice. Couldn't figure out how the dolphin could be my 5th chakra guide, that is until I did a little research. These animals are BOTH mammals and amphibians. The swim in the ocean, then come up occasionally for air. And they are great communicators. There is a lot of research being done on dolphin communication. All very interesting. Today I hear them say:

"We are the ones who love to go deep and share the depths with others. Sometimes the language gets lost as we try to share, but that's ok--we still love to share. We also communicate joy and compassion. Follow us to the deep and trust your voice--speak your truth with joy and compassion."

A Nice Lazy Sunday

It's been a very busy week. We have hosted nearly 40 kids this week in morning and afternoon art classes at The Center--our annual Summer Art Odyssey. I realize each year how much older I'm getting. I'm totally bushed by the end of the week, yet I really enjoy sharing creativity with the kids and learning new things from each new teacher.

Then over the weekend we had company--my brother, his wife, and their grandson came down to wish my mother a Happy 81st Birthday! We went out for dinner Friday evening, then off to Galveston, a ferry ride, and lunch, then back to town for our weekly grocery shopping.

I was in bed by 8:30 last night, and slept in until almost 7 (that's LATE for me) this morning. And, I skipped church. Sometimes you just have to "be".

And I've spent the better part of the afternoon creating 3 new SoulCollage® cards. I wanted to create some art, but I needed something that didn't require much juice--I'm running low! So, here's one I came up with:

A community card, Seena Frost, the Founder of SoulCollage®. If she were sitting here today, I think she would tell me:

"I am the one who taught you this beautiful gift of SoulCollage®. And if you're tired, this is the place to come. Look for images. Cut them out. And trust the process. And rest while you're working. Relax. No trouble. No bother. Yet, still creative."

Sheila Conner on The Arts Map

Sheila Conner on The Arts Map

6:45 a.m., Surfside Beach...

So, what am I doing here, by myself? Something’s amiss—out of kilter, and needs restoring.

What draws me to this Ocean?

Perhaps it’s the rhythm of the waves? It’s as if my own internal rhythms need to be recalibrated. My internal clock, the consistent tick, tick, tick, tick—it seems to have gotten out of whack. It’s lost its balanced rhythm.

I love the sound of the Ocean, the rhythmic ticking of a clock, and this week, the Psalms…my soul waits in silence.

“You have established yourself in secret places,
seeking out receptive hearts,
ready to enter and make your
dwelling place within.”

The secret places…
the rhythm of the waves,
the quiet ticking of a clock,
the beating of a heart,
the in and out of the breath,
the push and pull of the tide,
the rising and setting of the sun,
the waxing and waning of the moon…

the Final Cause.

Perhaps that’s what I need from this moment, from this place, from the Psalms—the gentle ever-present reminder of the Final Cause.

The gulls and the pelicans seem to know it,
time knows it,
the sun, moon, and stars know it,
the only ones who seem to wonder, doubt, and ask the questions
are us humans.

So, who/what is most evolved?

Then I notice.

Even the Ocean spends its energy beating against its boundaries, testing its limits. Even the Ocean seems to have this incessant longing for more.

Perhaps that’s my purpose.
Perhaps that’s why I’m here.
Perhaps that’s what this journey of the soul, my Ocean, is all about—

Expand
Open
Wings beating the wind
Waves lapping at the boundaries and eating up the edges

Longing for the More.
Always on the lookout for the Final Cause.

Here is my heart Beloved.
Enter and make your dwelling place within.