Today's the F Word...I grinned when I thought of that. It puts a rather whimsical slant on the whole thing, because one of the biggest myths perpetuated by the Garden, is the myth of "family" and what that's supposed to mean.
This isn't meant to be cynical, although it may sound it for a while, but the expectations put on "family" and all that is supposed to be for us is huge. I think, for me, that's one of the reasons the Christmas season can be such a "downer" for so many of us. Family--blood is thicker than water, although most of us have experienced just the opposite.
I've been reading fictional novels about Eve since we reviewed the creation story in our September TAEHS group. Currently, I'm reading Eve, A Novel Of The First Woman, by Elissa Elliott. And it seems that "family" has been the F word since the very beginning. Blood's never been thicker than water. The loyalty and love that we're aiming for? I suspect that's part of the "Fall". It's just not there.
Someone once said something like "we're born into our "family" but we choose our "friends". And "friend" is my other F word. I have wonderful friends. Like my birth family, and the family from my own womb, they, too have failed me. Perhaps it's because the expectations aren't quite as high? I don't really know, but my friendships have grown and strengthened over the years. I know in my deepest core, that they really, really care, and when the chips are down, they will be there for me in ways my "birth family" and my "womb family" can't be. And I suspect they really, really know me--sometimes it seems they know me better than I know myself.
In either case, family or friend, FORGIVENESS is the big F word of Advent. It truly is the F word that brings light into my darkness. The quote from Mark Twain says it all, "Forgiveness is the fragrance of violets on the heel that crushed it." Thank about that. We are fragile beings. Very, very fragile. We crush easily. And the one's who crush us the quickest seem to be those who are related to us--our families. Probably because the expectations are so high. Families aren't supposed to crush us. Parent's aren't supposed to say things to their kids that wound them for life. Children are supposed to love parents forever, even into their old age. Brothers are supposed to be close for life. Sisters are supposed to be best friends. Husbands and wives are supposed to have a love that grows and lasts forever.
It simply doesn't happen that way. That's why forgiveness has to be. Henri Nowen wrote that if there's anything we need forgiveness for, it's that we aren't God for one another. That has stuck with me for a long time. I have expected much from my parents--they weren't and aren't God. My brothers don't get me, and don't really know me. They aren't God. My husbands--all 3-- have failed me. They aren't God. And my precious children, probably the one's I've loved the most, even they have failed me. They aren't God.
And even my friends have failed me. They aren't God. And I forgive them for not being God for me. My prayer is that they will forgive me for not being God for them.
Guess what the G word is?
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