For today, I've chosen the letter "I", and the words: "introspection", "intuition", and "inspiration".
The way of the heart (see yesterday's post) includes silence, solitude, and unceasing prayer. For me, that has lead to the words for today. I've come to spend time "inward", in introspection, observing my own mind, words, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. As I've done so, my intuition has sharpened, and following my intuition has always been inspiring.
I'm fortunate to be a part of a group of women/artists/crones, and we often talk about creativity and what that means. I keep repeating myself: I don't want to "do" art, I want to "live" art--to live creatively. This requires me to spend time in introspection, look inside myself and observing--not navel gaze or become self-absorbed, but simply observing, without labeling or judging, just noting my self as I live my life. I once heard a insanity defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That's probably how I lived most of the first 40 years of my life. But over the last 20 years or so, the process of introspection has transform me and how I live my life.
Introspection joined together with prayer, sharpens intuition--that "direct knowing" of what I need to let go of, and what I need to reach for. Intuition hasn't always been welcomed or blessed in my life. My culture taught me to value reasoning more, and women's intuition was kind of snickered and belittled as not being valid. Certainly it wasn't trustworthy. But, for me, intuition and Spirit-led are the same thing. I observe and listen, and I'm led in a particular direction. Isaiah tells me, "...there will be a voice in your ear, whispering, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" And that's how it's worked for me for nearly 20 years...attempting to listen to that still small voice that whispers to the ears of my heart inside me. Sometimes I may make a mistake, because it takes practice; but most times, I've learned I can trust the voice.
And trusting that voice enough to follow has always been inspiring. The voice has never led me down a straight path, but instead, a creative path, a twisting path, not necessarily what appears to be the "right" path, but always an interesting path. Personally, I don't know how to live any other way. It makes it hard sometimes to "explain" myself to others, but I'm learning that explanations are necessary anymore. Trusting is all that's required of me.
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