The Gentle Spirit of SoulCollage® and the Storm Survivor

I am so taken with the gentleness of SoulCollage®. One of the principles of SoulCollage® is “the answers are already inside you; you have everything you need”. And it’s true.

Over the last few years, I’ve gone through my own “dark night”, questioning everything I’ve ever been taught, listening to all the judgments I’ve ever made and questioning my conclusions, and finally deciding for myself what to keep and what to let go of. My questions have been: Who told me that? Do I really believe it? Is it really of value to me? Is it any longer useful in my life?

That’s a hard thing for a 55-60 year old woman to do. My faith, my beliefs, my values, my politics—everything seemed to be caught under the lens of a microscope. It was all turned upside down.

Hebrews 12 tells of just that kind of “shaking”: “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heaven. This phrase, ‘Yet once more,’ indicates the removal of what is shaken—that is, created things—that what cannot be shaken may remain.”

This piece of dirt called Sheila has been shaken, turned upside down and shaken until her teeth are about to fall out. I never knew that verse even meant my religious beliefs and the values I walked through life by.

I’ve been shaken, and so has my family. And it’s been brutal. I’ve watched the dreams I’ve had for my sons crumble—and I’ve had to grief what I had hoped for them.

But back to SoulCollage®--Thursday was my day to go tape a 30-minute segment for a local TV station. And I had already decided to let intuition run the show—after all, that’s one of the grandest gifts of this process. It believes in and trusts intuition.

So that morning while going through my things and getting my “stuff” together, I happened upon an image that really drew me—a silhouette of family: a mother holding the hands of two children, and a dad kind of off to the side. There were words written across his body, and since he seemed a little distant, I cut out the silhouette of the mother and children and decided not to use him.

I still wasn’t sure I would use this picture, but I thought of it all morning.

And it was the image I used in my demo. I worked with this image and a stormy background. I “knew” she was coming out of the storm.

“I am the one who has walked through the storm, bringing my family with me. I am the one who is now walking into blue skies. The storm has, for the most part, passed. I am walking into blue skies in peace. I have peace in my heart, and peace is my theme. I am a storm survivor.”

After the taping was over, I found out another piece of my family had broken. Somehow, I already knew it. I am sad, for them and for me, but it’s been part of our shaking. And we are all storm survivors. Blue skies are just ahead. We will walk into our tomorrow in peace.

Yesterday morning, I read some of Psalm 18, from Nan Merrill’s book. That Psalm has so been the theme of the last few years for all of us. Somehow, it was the “icing” on the cake and confirmed for me that we are almost through this “shaking”. Thanks be to God.

Psalm 18

I abandon myself to You, O Living Presence, my strength.
You are my rock, my stronghold…my tower of strength…
the source of truth and light.
I call upon You, Heart of my heart,
singing praises to your Name and fear no longer holds me.

The demons of darkness assailed me,
the blindness of ignorance led me astray;
The shadows of fear paralyzed me,
the anguish of loneliness confronted me.
In my distress I called out to You…
You heard my voice…You harkened to my cry.

Then did You, O Divine Presence, show unto me a vision:
the earth reeled and rocked;
the foundations of the mountains trembled
and quaked, as if to slough off the ravages of destruction…
On the wings of the wind, You did come,
with darkness a covering around You,
a canopy of thick clouds dark with water.
Out of the brightness before You
there broke through the clouds hailstones,
coals of fire left from the mountain tops.
As your voice uttered in the heavens,
thunder and lightning stormed the earth…

Yet there was no safe haven,
no hiding place from fear.
Then the channels of the sea were seen,
and the foundations of the world laid bare,
The earth gave a might shudder
then settled down to heal
in Silence.

O compassionate One, You reached
from on high, You took me,
You drew me out of many waters.
You delivered me from the fears
that bound me, and
from ignorance that blinded me;
for they threatened to overcome me,
to separate me from You.
They came upon me when I looked not to You;
yet You, O Merciful One, were ever present.
You brought me forth into the Light;
You released my fears,
You delighted in me.
O Holy One, You see the intentions of my heart;
As I surrender to your love,
I grow in peace and gratitude.
For to lose my life is to find Life;
O keep me steadfast in love
for You, Life of my life!
The spirit of your Word is ever
before me,
the Counselor ever present to guide me…
May I walk with You justly, with mercy
and in peace,
a mirror of you love in the world…

You are the Light of my life;
You shine through my darkness…
You ways lead to wholeness…
How tenderly You live in my heart!

West Meets East, and a Book Review

This morning a made this SoulCollage® card, Jesus in the Lotus. It’s based on a book that I’ve recently finished, and I’ll discuss the book in a few moments, but as I read the book, and made this card, I pondered this painting I did in 2008.

It’s called “West Meets East”.

The painting of it seemed to heal a split in my soul—the split between East and West that had filtered through much of my Christian teaching as a teen and a young adult. Anything from the East was considered “New Age” and off limits. But the last few years so many of my “splits” have begun to heal, including this one. I’ve ventured into the Eastern thought concepts and found so much more! What I had before was like trying to purchase something with only one side of the coin. Marrying the two, East and West, has given me a whole coin.

We tend to forget that the historical Jesus came from was Middle-East, implying that he was “Middle-Eastern”, more East than West, I presume. Paul, the Apostle, took the Gospel to the West and the western filter has been huge, but Jesus’s filter was probably much different. I recently found out that Galilee lays on the Silk Road, that great viaduct of human commerce which connected the lands of the Mediterranean with the lands and culture of Central Asia and China. The Silk Road went right through the city of Capernaum, where Jesus did a lot of his learning and his teaching.

Who knew??? That wasn’t something I was taught in Sunday School. I’ve studied Scripture all my life, and I’ve studied church history, but no one every pointed out to me this little fact. Or maybe it just didn’t stick.

For a long time, some have thought perhaps Jesus went to India (or East) before his 30’s, but Cynthia Bourgeault points out in her book, The Wisdom of Jesus: Transforming Heart and Mind—a New Perspective on Christ and His Message, that the simpliest explanation for the “eastern” sound to so much of his teaching was because the East more likely came to him!

All that to say this:

Russill Paul’s book, Jesus in the Lotus, the Mystical Doorway Between Christianity and Yogic Spirituality is a beautiful book that expresses so much of what I’ve felt since I opened the door to the East. I’ve practiced centering prayer and Christian meditation off and on for a number of years, and I love my yoga practice. It’s nothing but exercises for the body, but my heart and soul has entered into some of the spiritual pictures yoga has taught me.

And now, Russill Paul gives me this little book. He was a monk at Fr. Bede Griffiths ashram in India for 5 years. I learned about Fr. Bede at the Cenacle. He was simply a saint. And for me, Russill Paul may be on his way. He is Indian, and he was raised in a Hindu culture, but his family was Catholic, and he was Catholic. His stay with Fr. Bede helped him “marry” the two.

Paul, the author, is careful to explain the differences between Christian spirituality and Yogic spirituality, and some of his explanations made my heart leap with “YES, THAT’S why I still choose Christianity!” For example, on of my favorite sections of this book was his sharing of the gifts of Christianity. In our culture today, it’s often hard to say, “I’m a Christian” because of the stereo-type of Christian fundamentalism that has gripped our country, but I choose to still call myself a Christian because of two things: LOVE and community.

Regarding Love, Paul writes: “The Yoga of Jesus is to love, despite the other’s ego, despite their karma, despite their ignorance, for the power of love can transform their ego and their karma and their ignorance. It may not do so immediately, as we evident from Jesus’ death on the cross, but the transformation will take place eventually and will be far more powerful than any other means, for love is the ultimate tool of transformation.”

And regarding community (personally, I have a love/hate affair with community, but I recognize it’s importance)… Granted, community is tough! Relationships are hard, but that’s a distinguishing mark of Christianity according to Paul. He writes: “What distinguishes [Christianity] is its awareness of the power of one’s soul to influence the communal process of enlightenment. From the deeper Christian point of view, individual choice has a role in the grand fulfillment of the universe that has been “groaning in travail.”…Christian enlightenment, then, is the call to actively participate in the Divine vision for humanity…from the Christian point of view, the human response to this cocreated consciousness is prompted by love rather than a desire for truth or even knowledge of the Self….”

One of the other beautiful pictures he gives in his book, is the Yogic desire to reach for God, and the Christian knowledge that God reaches for us…That’s another card I made:




Earth reaching for heaven and heaven reaching for Earth, and the once and for all marriage of the two…spiritual partnership.

Namaste.

The Wisdom and Care of SoulCollage®

SoulCollage® is such a simple tool...yet profound prayer. I've been "feeling" some things over the last couple of months, and those feelings have been pretty well validated over the last few days. And the "boogie bears" of my mind are lurking near. My tendency in this particular situation is to "fear". But when I drew this card as my "neter" of the day, something wonderful happened.

Synchronicity is one of Love's favorite ways to speak into my life, and it always amazes me when it happens.

Andy preached a simple sermon yesterday on the prayer that Jesus taught us. He brought that simple prayer into current day language, then challenged us to do the same. Well, I'm too grown up for that...

But this morning, when I drew this card, that's exactly what happened. I made this card after "bullying" someone about a year ago. It gave me hope that my "Father" still loved me. This morning? It's a whole different message.

As I was pondering my thoughts and feeling my fears, I heard this card speak a whole different message to me:

"Sheila, I am the one who invites you to just walk away. Turn your back on the bullies in your mind that have you hiding in this dark place like a little lost puppy. Leave the pretend demons and dragons of your fears behind, put your hand in mine and just walk away. Leave them be, and come walk with me."

I was reminded of something particular regarding forgiveness that Andy talked about yesterday, so I talked about it with Love, then in my heart, I put my small fearful hand in Love's hand, and walked away from the demons in my mind. I am unable to do anything about the feelings or the fears, or whatever the situation is that stir those feelings and fears, but I can mentally put my hand in Someone's hand and walk away. At least for today.

I've been reading daily from Nan Merrill's Psalms for Praying, an Invitation to Wholeness for a while now. And today after listening to the Wisdom of this card speak to me, I ended my prayer time with Psalm 16...

Remain before me

O Living Presence,

for in You am I safe.

You are my Beloved; in You

I can do all things...

Love is my chosen food, my cup,

holding me in its power.

Where I have come from,

Where'ser I shall go,

Love is my birthright,

my true estate.

I bless the Counselor who guides

my way;

in the night also does my heart

instruct me.

I walk beside the Spirit of Truth;

I celebrate the Light.

Thus my hear is glad,

and my soul

rejoices;

I shall nto be afraid,

nor fall into the pit of despair;

In Love's presence there is fullness

of Joy.

You are my Beloved; in You

will I live.

Come SoulCollage® With Me - Dancing With The Opposites

I made this card last Thursday, when I gave my first SoulCollage® class. And I love it! Goes to show, sometimes "simple" is best!

I was raised in a black and white world of nice, tidy, little boxes. And everything fit into those nice little boxes: good/bad, black/white, up/down, big/little, right/wrong, us/them, etc. But something happened in 2004 when I drew a black and white mandala of little boxes. Since then, I've begun to dance the dance of the opposites. And I've discovered that a non-black/white world doesn't just lead to wish-washy shades of gray. It makes for COLOR! DIVERSITY! DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW! There's a million choices between black and white. There's a billion points of view between right and wrong. And it's a wonderful, wonderful world of color.

I can be a child of both day and night. I can dance between right and wrong and not really KNOW it all. I can be o so much more flexible, and yes, tolerant of others.

When this card spoke to me it said:

"I am the one who dances with the opposites! Come and dance with me. Sprinkle a little color wherevery you go. You no longer have to live on the edge and be fearful of falling off that little tight rope! Everything in between is an adventure in living! Come experience LIFE in technicolor!"

Try it. You'll like it. :)

Life's Intention

I am forever grateful to a group of women I often refer to as "The Lilies". Some of us have been together so long that I tend to take the "sisterhood" for granted--you know, "familarity breeds contempt". Except it's not "contempt", it's just "for granted", then one of them ignites that fire inside my heart, and I'm re-charged, and off and running again.

Yesterday one of them asked us three questions:

"What do you want to be like when you grow up?"

"How do you get there?"

"When do you begin?"

Sometime or another, all of us need to sit with those three questions and ponder them--and maybe even come up with some kind of answer--if not an answer, at least a general direction to head in. So, I sat and pondered. Then I wrote. But being a firm believer in "imaging", I made a SoulCollage® card to make my intention "concrete".

What do I want to be like when I grow up? Conscience, awake, observant, still growing, tender, grace-filled, open-hearted, compassionate, merciful...What do I want to be like? I still want to be like my teacher, Jesus--except in "Sheila" form.

How do I get there? Just keep walking--onwart, upward, hope-FULL, one day at a time, one moment at a time.

When do I begin? Today, now, this very moment, sitting here at my computer, thinking about the question, and opening my heart and mind to the answer I wrote, right now, fully setting my intention toward it, this very moment, planting this seed deep in my heart.

Coming Home to the Self - from Touchstone (Thanks Tina)

I got this little dittie on email today from a friend. I love it. It's what I truly believe, and it's one reason I do SoulCollage®. SoulCollage® helps me live from the inside out. Read on...

"We are a culture of misfits - not because there is anything wrong with us as a people but because we are accustomed to becoming things we aren't. So we don't fit into our own souls. Our schools put out students to fit the economy, for instance, rather than the heart. Good thinkers go into accounting rather than philosophy because accounting pays more. Fine writers go into law because law is more prestigious. Young people with artistic talent go into computer science because computer programming or hotel management or engineering are full of "opportunities"--real "money" - that a water-colorist lacks.

"The problem is that when we do not do what we are clearly made to do we are doomed. We spend the rest of our lives looking for the missing piece of ourselves that we lost before we knew we had it.

"Then we wonder why the work we do bores us, no matter how many cars we have, no matter how beautiful the vacation house may be. We can't figure out why we still feel restless about life. We wonder what it is that isn't right: the schedule, the children, the marriage, the place.

"We lose a taste for life.

"Then, it is time go give ourselves the space and means to become again. We need to rearrange the furniture of life to make way for the essence of life: We need to set up an easel and paint. We need to start the woodworking we always wanted to do. We need to take the courses we always wish we had. We need to join the book clubs that talk about the things we are interested in discussing. We need to begin to knit and cook and write and garden. We need to do those unfinished, unstarted, undeveloped things in us that ring the bell of bliss and authenticity. Then life will become life again and all the rust of it will wear away. When we become what we know ourselves to be, we will come home to ourselves.
"The rabbis put it this way: "Rabbi," the disciple asked, "what shall I do to be saved?" And the Rabbi said, "How should I know? Abraham practiced hospitality and was saved. Elias loved to pray and was saved. David ruled a kingdom and God was with him. Follow the deepest inclination of your heart and you, too, will be saved."When we live from the inside out rather than from the outside in, everything in life begins to fit."

SoulCollage® Card #3, There IS a pony in there!!!

This started out being an "archeology" card--an archetype for one who digs in the earth to find treasure, BUT, I could just hear this little one saying, "There REALLY is a pony in here!" I'm sure most of you have heard about the little girl who was shown two rooms, one with a nice gift-wrapped box in it, and the other full of shit! And she chose the room full of it--convinced that under all that stuff was a pony! :) So, I hear her say:

"I am the one who says, 'Keep digging! Don't give up! Look for the PONY!"

I'm a firm believer that everything that comes our way has "pony potential"--there's a vein of gold running through every situation. One of my very favorite passages of Scripture is Job 28. It tells me all about how hard it is to find wisdom and "treasure". It's not easy to keep believing and keep hoping, especially in some of our roughest times. But if we let go and trust the Source of all good gifts, if we keep digging, we'll find the gift.